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Unfortunate, but expected. Just a bit odd that the funeral is today.”“You’re not... superstitious... are you?” she asked. “My family has a history of dealing with spirits. I’d like not to brag, but I’m unfortunately gifted with visions,” I replied, trying to keep my mind off my boner.She asked about my visions twenty minutes later.“So, you can see into the future and shit?”“Well, not exactly,” I chuckled. “The visions are usually about people that I’m close with, in either a situation of sickness or death. It’s been a while though and didn’t happen with my grandfather.”I saw her nipples protruding through her loose shirt. Is this shit really turning her on?“So, kind of like an omen or deja vu I suppose. By any chance, do you pay attention to the moon?”“Only to find my way around the back patio at night,” I responded.“I have a certain fascination about the spirit world, the old ways of tracking the moon, and heightened awareness. And right now, I’m a little wet.”She grabbed my left. ✧ ✧ ✧FOURTH TESTIMONY:Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands it was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. The realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said `No’ ... I kept thinking `Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don’t have any clothes with me.’ Then I said, `Danny, are you SURE you didn’t have an accident?’ ‘No,’ he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, ‘Danny did you have an accident? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled `SEE MOM, IT’S JUST FARTS!!’ While 30 people nearly choked to.
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